Quote (#568)

"God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it."
- Carl Sagan (1934-1996), Contact

"The Devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), The Merchant of Venice, I.iii

"Not only is there no God, but
try finding a plumber on Sunday."
- Woody Allen (1935-)

"The price of liberty is eternal vigilance."
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

"All for one; one for all."
- Alexander Dumas (1824-1895)

"You laugh at me because I am different, but
I laugh at you because you are all the same."
- Unknown

Quotaria - Woody Allen

"It is impossible to travel faster than the
speed of light, and certainly not desirable,
as one's hat keeps blowing off."
- Woody Allen

"Students achieving Oneness
will move on to Twoness."
- Woody Allen

"Organized crime in America takes in over
forty billion dollars a year and spends
very little on office supplies."
- Woody Allen

"Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons."
- Woody Allen

There are two types of people in this world,
good and bad. The good sleep better, but the
bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen

"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a
tree' -- probably because it's so hard
to figure out how to get the bark on."
- Woody Allen

Theme: Oneliners

"Never mistake motion for action."
- Ernest Hemingway

"To dwell is to garden."
- Martin Heidegger

"Language is the source of misunderstandings."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Mother Nature is not sweet."
- John Shelby Spong

"Daisies are like sunshine to the ground."
- Drew Barrymore

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."
- Woody Allen

Quotes - Favorites

What if nothing exists and we're
all in somebody's dream?
- Woody Allen

"Judge a man by his questions
rather than his answers."
- Voltaire

When an elderly and distinguished scientist tells
you that something is possible, he is very probably
right. When he tells you that something is impossible,
he is very probably wrong.
- Arthur C. Clarke

Nothing endures but change.
- Heraclitus

Things are not bad in themselves,
but our cowardice makes them so.
- Michel de Montaigne

God put me on this earth to accomplish a
certain number of things. Right now I am
so far behind that I will never die.
- Bill Watterson

Quotes - Woody Allen

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and
suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
- Woody Allen

"It is impossible to experience one's death
objectively and still carry a tune."
- Woody Allen

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food
dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."
- Woody Allen

"I am not afraid of death,
I just don't want to be
there when it happens."
- Woody Allen

"I took a speed reading course
and read 'War and Peace' in twenty
minutes. It involves Russia."
- Woody Allen

"More than any other time in history, mankind faces
a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter
hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let
us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
- Woody Allen

Quotaria

"Life doesn't imitate art, it
imitates bad television."
- Woody Allen

A hat should be taken off when you greet a
lady and left off for the rest of your life.
Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
- PJ O'Rourke

There's so much pollution in the air now that
if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place
to put it all.
- Robert Orben

"If opportunity doesn't
knock, build a door."
- Milton Berle

"We are not makers of history.
We are made by history."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Batman: Commissioner Gordon?
Dr. Chase Meridian: He's at home. I sent the signal.
Batman: What's wrong?
Dr. Chase Meridian: Last night, at the bank, I noticed something about Two-Face. His coin. It's his Achilles' heel. It can be exploited.
Batman: I know. You called me here for this? The Batsignal is not a beeper.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Well I wish I could say that my interest in you was... purely professional.
Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Dr. Chase Meridian: A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.
Dr. Chase Meridian: What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was guys with earrings. College, motorcycles, leather jackets. Now, *oh*, black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
Batman: We all wear masks.
Dr. Chase Meridian: My life's an open book. You read?
Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.
Batman: Direct aren't you?
Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven't had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.
- Batman Forever

Quotes - Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God,
I don't think that he's evil. But the
worst that you can say about him is
that basically he's an underachiever.
- Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"
- Woody Allen

"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
- Woody Allen

"My education was dismal. I went to a series
of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."
- Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work;
I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
- Woody Allen