Quote (#577)

"Dance like it hurts,
Love like you need money,
Work when people are watching."
- Scott Adams

"We do what we must, and
call it by the best names."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Those who can make you
believe absurdities can
make you commit atrocities."
- Voltaire

"Acting is the most minor of gifts and
not a very high-class way to earn a
living. After all, Shirley Temple could
do it at the age of four."
- Katharine Hepburn

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except
there's no music, no choreography, and
the dancers hit each other."
- Jack Handey

"But what is the difference between literature and journalism?
...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all."
- Oscar Wilde

Quotes

"With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow
down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite.
Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red
means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'"
- Mitch Hedberg

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach
a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry
man about fish, and you're a consultant."
- Scott Adams

"In real life, I assure you, there
is no such thing as algebra."
- Fran Lebowitz

"I never put on a pair of shoes until
I've worn them at least five years."
- Samuel Goldwyn

"Conceit is God's gift to little men."
- Bruce Barton

"It matters not whether you win or lose;
what matters is whether I win or lose."
- Darrin Weinberg

Quotes

If a man will begin with certainties,
he shall end in doubts; but if he will
be content to begin with doubts he shall
end in certainties.
- Sir Francis Bacon

Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody
I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.
- Jimmy Breslin

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were
laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
- Dorothy Parker

The creator of the universe works
in mysterious ways. But he uses a
base ten counting system and likes
round numbers.
- Scott Adams

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and
fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom
fighters fight? They never mention that
part to us, do they?"
- George Carlin

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make it easier to do
don't need to be done."
- Andy Rooney