Quotaria

‘The trouble with life isn't that there is no
answer, it's that there are so many answers.’
- Ruth Benedict

"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this
notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be
fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any."
- Russell Baker

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the
government and report the facts."
- Will Rogers

"A James Cagney love scene is one
where he lets the other guy live."
- Bob Hope

"I know I am getting better at golf because
I am hitting fewer spectators."
- Gerald R. Ford

Even he, to whom most things that most
people would think were pretty smart were
pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
- Douglas Adams

Quotes

"There are three social classes in
America: upper middle class, middle
class, and lower middle class."
- Judith Martin

"We need not to be let alone. We need to be
really bothered once in a while. How long is
it since you were really bothered? About
something important, about something real?"
- Ray Bradbury

"I've never struck a woman in my
life, not even my own mother."
- W. C. Fields

"The goal of all inanimate objects is to
resist man and ultimately defeat him."
- Russell Baker

"Anyone who says he can see
through women is missing a lot."
- Groucho Marx

"The purpose of life
is to fight maturity."
- Dick Werthimer

Quotes

"I have had a perfectly wonderful
evening, but this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

"I believe a leaf of grass is no less
than the journey-work of the stars."
- Walt Whitman

"The manner of giving is
worth more than the gift."
- Pierre Corneille

"If not actually disgruntled, he
was far from being gruntled."
- P. G. Wodehouse

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra
and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
- Matt Groening

"People seem to enjoy things more when
they know a lot of other people have
been left out of the pleasure."
- Russell Baker

Quotes

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
- George Carlin

"Age is not important
unless you're a cheese."
- Helen Hayes

"Usually, terrible things that are done with the
excuse that progress requires them are not really
progress at all, but just terrible things."
- Russell Baker

"Don't look back. Something
might be gaining on you."
- Satchel Paige

"The universe seems neither benign
nor hostile, merely indifferent."
- Carl Sagan

"Nine-tenths of wisdom
is being wise in time."
- Theodore Roosevelt

Quotes

"You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on
its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep
in that position you can make a crowd of men."
- Max Beerbohm

"The best minds are not in government. If
any were, business would hire them away."
- Ronald Reagan

"Everyone wants to be Cary Grant.
Even I want to be Cary Grant."
- Cary Grant

"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most
desperately? I say that what we really need
is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
- Russell Baker

"I have a mind to join a club and
beat you over the head with it."
- Groucho Marx

"How beautifully leaves grow old. How full
of light and color are their last days."
- George Burns