Quote (#565)

"Everyone has a right to a university degree in
America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology."
- Clive James

"Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction
to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it."
- Alvin Toffler

"Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness
is being free to do anything."
- Floyd Dell

"If I were two-faced, would
I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln

"The only way to get rid of a
temptation is to yield to it."
- Oscar Wilde

"Criticism is prejudice made plausible."
- H. L. Mencken

Quotes (#475)

I praise loudly;
I blame softly.
- Catherine II

What a day may bring,
a day may take away.
- Thomas Fuller

"A cynic is a man who,
when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin."
- H. L. Mencken

"Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new."
- Henry David Thoreau

"Treat all disasters as if they
were trivialities but never treat
a triviality as if it were a disaster."
- Quentin Crisp

Little minds are tamed and
subdued by misfortune; but
great minds rise above them.
- Washington Irving

Quotes

"Think wrongly, if you please, but
in all cases think for yourself."
- Doris Lessing

"Now, in reality, the world have paid too
great a compliment to critics, and have
imagined them to be men of much greater
profundity than they really are."
- Henry Fielding

"My father would take me
to the playground, and
put me on mood swings."
- Jay London

None but a coward dares to boast
that he has never known fear.
- Ferdinand Foch

Puritanism: The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- HL Mencken

Without the aid of prejudice and
custom I should not be able to
find my way across the room.
- William Hazlitt

Quotes

"Spring is when you feel
like whistling even with
a shoe full of slush."
- Doug Larson

"The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is
that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later;
in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting."
- Charles Bukowski

"Advice is what we ask for when we already
know the answer but wish we didn't."
- Erica Jong

"It is impossible to imagine
Goethe or Beethoven being
good at billiards or golf."
- H. L. Mencken

Weekends don't count unless you spend them
doing something completely pointless.
- Bill Watterson

Life is a foreign language;
all men mispronounce it.
- Christopher Morley

Quotaria

"Every generation imagines itself to be more
intelligent than the one that went before it,
and wiser than the one that comes after it."
- George Orwell

"The government consists of a gang of men exactly like
you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special
talent for the business of government; they have only a
talent for getting and holding office."
- H. L. Mencken

"There's no point in being grown up
if you can't be childish sometimes."
- Doctor Who

"Pair up in threes."
- Joe DiMaggio

Poison Ivy: It took God seven days to create
paradise. Let's see if I can do better.
- Batman & Robin (1997)

Set your goals high, and don't
stop till you get there.
- Bo Jackson

Quotes

"Be obscure clearly."
- E. B. White

"A celebrity is one who is known to many
persons he is glad he doesn't know."
- H. L. Mencken

"She runs the gamut of
emotions from A to B."
- Dorothy Parker

"The only difference between the Democrats
and the Republicans is that the Democrats
allow the poor to be corrupt, too."
- Oscar Levant

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just
incredibly pathetic that it has to be us."
- Jerry Garcia

"Save a little money each month and at
the end of the year you'll be surprised
at how little you have."
- Ernest Haskins

Quotes - HL Mencken

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that
one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels.
For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws
are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at
the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- HL Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his
hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken

"After all, all he did was string together
a lot of old, well-known quotations."
- H. L. Mencken

A poet more than thirty years old
is simply an overgrown child.
- HL Mencken

"A judge is a law student who marks
his own examination papers."
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that
warns us somebody may be looking.
- HL Mencken

Quotes

"Thought is only a flash between two long
nights, but this flash is everything."
- Henri Poincare

"We are here and it is now. Further than
that all human knowledge is moonshine."
- H. L. Mencken

"All nature wears
one universal grin."
- Henry Fielding

"Heaven lent you a soul,
Earth will lend a grave."
- Christian Nestell Bovee

"Change your thoughts and
you change your world."
- Norman Vincent Peale

"If everyone is thinking alike,
then somebody isn't thinking."
- George S. Patton

Quotaria

It is a sin to believe in the evil of
others, but it is seldom a mistake.
- H. L. Mencken

Reality is so continuous and pervasive, so solid, impenetrable,
inscrutable, so real, that it is virtually impossible for the mind
to grasp the simple fact that what we call REALITY is an illusion,
a construct, a schema devised by the mind to explain the
phenomenon and mystery of life.
- Floyd Arnold

"There are many questions which fools
can ask that wise men cannot answer.’
- George Polyá

The Irishman's Wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."

"Prosperity is full of friends."
- Euripides

"The consumer isn't a
moron; she is your wife."
- David Ogilvy

Quotaria - Oneliner

The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

"Courage is grace under pressure."
- Ernest Hemingway

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand
- Kurt Vonnegut

"Change before you have to."
- Jack Welch

"Energy and persistence conquer all things."
- Benjamin Franklin