Quote (#567)

"Give me a museum and I’ll fill it."
- Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

"There are many men of principle in both parties
in America, but there is no party of principle."
- Alexis de Tocqueville

"If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words,
'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult
to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death."
- Eddie Izzard

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our
parents, and the second half by our children."
- Clarence Darrow

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that
my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
- Joan Rivers

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another
cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’."
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

Quotes

"Forty for you, sixty for me. And
equal partners we will be."
- Joan Rivers

"The only time a woman really succeeds
in changing a man is when he is a baby."
- Natalie Wood

"Most conversations are simply monologues
delivered in the presence of witnesses."
- Margaret Millar

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise
to build a bridge even where there is no river."
- Nikita Khrushchev

"I love the long grass coming
up to meet the willows."
- Jilly Cooper

"The maxims of men reveal their characters."
- Luc de Clapier de Vauvanargues

Quotes

"The first time I see a jogger
smiling, I'll consider it."
- Joan Rivers

"Failure is not the only punishment for laziness;
there is also the success of others."
- Jules Renard

"What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut
our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!"
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

"We cannot command Nature
except by obeying her."
- Francis Bacon

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.
~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

It is better to be hated for what you are,
than to be loved for what you are not!
- Andre Gide

Quotaria

"Destiny is not a matter of chance;
it is a matter of choice. It is not
something to be waited for; but,
rather something to be achieved."
- William Jennings Bryan

"If God wanted us to bend over
he'd put diamonds on the floor."
- Joan Rivers

"Never does nature say one
thing and wisdom another."
- Juvenal

"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth
it to gnaw through the leather straps."
- Emo Phillips

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end
today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
- Charles M. Schulz

"Where humor is concerned there are
no standards - no one can say what
is good or bad, although you can
be sure that everyone will."
- John Kenneth Galbraith