Quotes - Favorites

Black holes are where
God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright

"What you are will show in what you do."
- Thomas A. Edison

"Last night I dreamed I ate a
ten-pound marshmallow, and when
I woke up the pillow was gone."
- Tommy Cooper

"Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien
menace that wasn't immune to bullets."
- Unknown

Don't kick the monster!
Program a robot to smash it, Shoot it,
Spear it or even Throw something at it
(preferably a grenade), but NEVER kick the monster!
NOTE: does not apply to BLACK BELTS.
- Unknown.

"Nothing is fool proof to a
sufficiently talented fool."
- Unknown

Quotes

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically
according to your height."
- Casey Stengel

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-
minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
- Evan Esar

The one thing more difficult than following
a regimen is not imposing it on others.
- Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)

A little rebellion now
and then is a good thing.
- Thomas Jefferson

"Everything comes to him
who hustles while he waits."
- Thomas Edison

"Procrastination isn't the problem,
it's the solution. So procrastinate
now, don't put it off."
- Ellen DeGeneres

Quotes

"The better I get to know men, the
more I find myself loving dogs."
- Charles de Gaulle

"Discontent is the first
necessity of progress."
- Thomas A. Edison

"There is nothing so useless as
doing efficiently that which
should not be done at all."
- Peter Drucker

"You know that children are growing up when
they start asking questions that have answers."
- John J. Plomp

"All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel
those of the present but neither see nor feel those of
the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes
without amendment, and frequently for the worse."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Cats are smarter than dogs.
You can't get eight cats to
pull a sled through snow."
- Jeff Valdez

Quotaria

"The first time I sang in the church choir;
two hundred people changed their religion."
- Fred Allen

"Good judgment comes from experience, and
often experience comes from bad judgment."
- Rita Mae Brown

"To have a great idea,
have a lot of them."
Thomas A. Edison

"When I think of all the wars that have been fought over possession of
the very cradle of the world's three major religions, I can't help but
wonder if maybe God is slowly turning agnostic. You have to just marvel
at the stun-gun absurdity of fighting to the death over what happens to
you... after you die."
- Dennis Miller

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of
little minds, adored by little statesmen
and philosophers and divines.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have to know how to accept
rejection and reject acceptance.
- Ray Bradbury

Quotaria

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake.
Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want
something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
- Rita Rudner

"The most savage controversies are those about matters
as to which there is no good evidence either way."
- Bertrand Russell

"No problem can stand the assault
of sustained thinking."
- Voltaire

"Genius is 1% inspiration
and 99% perspiration."
- Thomas Edison

"Enjoying life isn't about finding
the answers, but living the questions."
- Sue Margolis

"See how the masses of men worry themselves into
nameless graves, while here and there a great
unselfish soul forgets himself into immortality."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quotaria

I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success,
but I can give you a formula for failure: try to
please everybody all the time.
- Herbert Bayard Swope

People can have the Model T in any
colour--so long as it's black.
- Henry Ford

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the
paint on it you can.
- Danny Kaye

To invent, you need a good
imagination and a pile of junk.
- Thomas Alva Edison

It's better to be wanted for murder
than not to be wanted at all.
- Marty Winch

There are three reasons why lawyers are replacing rats
as laboratory research animals. One is that they are
plentiful, another is that lab assistants don't get so
attached to them and the third is that they will do
things that you just can't get rats to do.
- Blanche Knott

Quotes

"It is horrifying that we have to fight our
own government to save the environment."
- Ansel Adams

"It takes a great man
to be a good listener."
- Calvin Coolidge

"There's a way to do
it better - find it."
- Thomas A. Edison

"I'm not a genius. I'm just a
tremendous bundle of experience."
- R. Buckminster Fuller

"The best way to predict the
future is to create it."
- Peter Drucker

"A censor is a man who knows more
than he thinks you ought to."
- Granville Hicks

Quotes

I have not failed. I've just found
10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Alva Edison

The optimist proclaims that we live in
the best of all possible worlds,and the
pessimist fears this is true.
- James Branch Cabell

I wouldn't mind dying—it's the business of having
to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
— R. Geis

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell
and run away! Death really hates that!
- Matt Frewer, as Dr. Mike Stratford in "Doctor, Doctor"

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose,
but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll
be much harder to detect.
- George Carlin

No man's life, liberty or property are
safe while the legislature is in session.
- Judge Gideon J. Tucker

Quotes

"Here's something to think about:
How come you never see a headline
like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
- Jay Leno

"Works of art, in my opinion, are the only objects
in the material universe to possess internal order,
and that is why, though I don't believe that only
art matters, I do believe in Art for Art's sake."
- E.M. Forster

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his
hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son,
if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one
at the end of your arm.'"
- Sam Levenson

"Our national flower is
the concrete cloverleaf."
- Lewis Mumford

"In democracy it's your vote that counts;
In feudalism it's your count that votes."
- Mogens Jallberg

"Hell, there are no rules here-- we're
trying to accomplish something."
- Thomas A. Edison