Quotes

One day I sat thinking almost in despair; a hand
fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly:
"Cheer up, things could get worse." So I cheered up,
and sure enough, things got worse.
- James Hagerty

"There are three kinds of lies:
lies, damn lies, and statistics."
- Benjamin Disraeli

Do not trust the cheering, for those
very persons would shout as much if
you and I were going to be hanged.
- Oliver Cromwell

A lot of people like snow. I find it to
be an unnecessary freezing of water.
- Carl Reiner

Traffic signals in New York
are just rough guidelines.
- David Letterman

The only rules comedy can tolerate
are those of taste, and the only
limitations those of libel.
- James Thurber