Quotes - Terry Pratchett

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
- Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"

A good bookshop is just a genteel
Black Hole that knows how to read.
- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

Always be wary of any helpful item that
weighs less than its operating manual.
- Terry Pratchett

"A marriage is always made up of two people who are
prepared to swear that only the other one snores."
- Terry Pratchett

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam.
Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and
subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of
understanding of this simple fact.
- Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

Have a bit more patience with newbies.
Of course some of them act dumb -- they're
often students, for heaven's sake.
- Terry Pratchett